Moby Dickhead

Captain Ahab had more self-awareness

The Greta Thunberg Travelling Empathy Circus docked in the Mediterranean last week, its sails puffed full of self-righteous wind, carrying the climate saint herself aboard a vessel bound for the shores of Gaza. Or so she hoped.

Instead, the flotilla—a flotilla!—was intercepted by the Israeli navy last night. The group, composed of well-meaning activists and the usual cohort of professional indignants, had attempted to breach a security blockade that has been in place for nearly two decades. Then, in perhaps the most self-absorbed act of performance art yet in her already overstretched career of symbolic gestures, Greta took to social media to announce that she had been “kidnapped”.

Kidnapped.

Not detained. Not arrested. Not questioned.

Kidnapped.

Let us pause on that for a moment. As she spoke that word, Israeli innocents, dragged from their homes on 7 October, were being held in tunnels beneath Gaza; still hostages, still tortured, still unseen by the very same media industrial complex that hangs on Greta’s every muttered aphorism about the “system” stealing her dreams.

One wonders if the irony ever touched her, even for a moment.

This is not activism; it is narcissism masquerading as the rhetoric of moral urgency. It is the political equivalent of a wealthy teenager running away from home to make a statement, only to call the press for coverage and an Uber for the return journey.

Just like that, the climate crusader became a freedom flotilla freedom fighter, in a saga that feels less like history and more like an overwrought TikTok skit: “White Girl Finds Herself on the High Seas.”

Let us dispel the fantasy that Greta is some generational prophet. She is a product of PR handlers, of post-ideological Instagram politics, of a generation that confuses virality with virtue. Her interventions have consistently carried the theatrical air of a school play written in crayon and directed by individuals with saviour complexes. This latest escapade merely confirms what many suspected: Greta has outgrown climate change. The original cause, having reached its peak in moral clarity, no longer satisfies the appetite for drama. Now, like any brand in decline, she pivots. Gaza is the new climate; victimhood is the new activism.

If you want to play with fire, expect to get burned. Reports suggest that Greta, along with other detainees, will be shown footage from the 7 October atrocities, the defining trauma for Israelis still reeling from the bloodshed.

Good.

She should watch it: every gory frame; every slaughtered festival-goer; every burned corpse; every grandmother dragged from her home. She should watch it all and sit in silence for a change, instead of trying to turn every global tragedy into another Greta-centric chapter of her self-authored mythology.

This is not about denying the suffering of civilians in Gaza or about opposing protest. It is about proportion, decency, and reality. Greta’s self-aggrandising stunt insults the real victims on all sides. It reduces the complexity of a brutal, decades-long conflict to a teenage morality play with herself at the centre.

Greta was not kidnapped. She was interrupted.

For the rest of us still trying to live in the real world, to make sense of its horrors without resorting to cosplay and Instagram reels, that is at least some small mercy.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might enjoy my weekly podcast with Shana Meyerson, “A Paratrooper and a Yogi Walk Into A Bar”. Find it in the podcast section of my Substack page, or:

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